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High school felt smaller somehow. In just three days, over the past weekend, my life changed completely and now school halls loomed in around me, tight and claustrophobic. Friends greeted me with the same sense of fun, interest, or cool indifference as before. Class curriculum remained the same. An uneasy, unfamiliar emotion settled over me like a pall. At lunch, sitting amongst my good friends, I recognized the uneasy feeling: shame.Not once over the weekend, not even covered in cum after four men used me, did I feel a moment of shame. I got embarrassed sure, but not ashamed. Now, just thinking about telling my friends or going back to my house filled me with it.Everything felt constricting and dirty, even my clothes. I ran from the school to Curly?s waiting car at the final bell, unable to tolerate it a moment longer. In the vestibule back at Sea Cliff, I shed my clothes and ran upstairs leaving discarded garments in my wake. I jumped in the shower and scrubbed myself in a cleansing panic. Eventually I calmed down and just leaned against the shower wall letting the hot water wash over me while I processed.It didn?t make sense. Why would I feel shame at school but clean at Sea Cliff? Experimentally, I turned the water off and walked out into the hallway still dripping wet and shiny. Anyone could come by and see me, and maybe use me. I felt nothing in particular about that. Well, maybe a bit excited about being used. Sea Cliff was a sexy hotel I didn?t mind being a guest in.*I dried off, put on my Jimmy Choo sandals, and went down to the basement to blow the security staff. I took two loads of cum on my face without protest and walked back to my room without cleaning up. It felt good. Invigorating. Still no shame.I inserted the medium butt plug, did my homework, kolej escort ate a quick dinner, and went back down to security for the shift change at seven. The four of them, Darren and Bill were off duty again, were more than willing to bang me. Afterward I felt even better than I had after the previous facials. Being a whore wasn?t the problem, it seemed.--For two days the same shame haunted me at school and cleared up back at Sea Cliff. This mystified me until I nearly boarded my usual bus home out of habit instead of walking to Curly?s waiting town car. A crushing swell of dread pummeled me the moment my foot lighted on the first step on the bus. Bussing meant going back home. Home meant dealing with Harold. Harold meant living a lie. Dread and shame overawed me.*Harold was a tyrant and together we had faked being a normal family for years. He betrayed my mother and blamed her for abandoning me. Unwittingly, I?d enabled him. I couldn?t do it anymore. My flesh crawled, even my clothes chaffed, just thinking about acting like nice old Bell for that man. That Bell was a sham, a fake.?Her clothes make me sick,? I said, when I got in Curly?s car. He put it in drive and slid the car out of the school parking lot without a word. ?I need new clothes. I can?t wear anything from home. I can?t act like I did before this, lying for Harold.??I?ll take care of it,? was all he said. Somehow, I trusted he would and relaxed.*For the first time since negotiating my freedom (or bondage, depending), I had asked for something personal and important. A favor. Curly responded immediately with a promise of help, not questions. How different my new life with Nicolette, John, and Curly was from the old one with Harold.*I scratched the skin under sihhiye escort bayan my shirt collar, chafing.Back at Sea Cliff I got naked at the door. I gathered my entire wardrobe, clothes, underwear, shoes, everything, and put them in one of the big trash bins downstairs. I emptied my backpack and did the same with it. I?d go to school in my new yoga outfit or one of those fancy dresses before wearing anything from my old life. It sounds frivolously dramatic, but immediately I felt lighter, better.Curly ?took care of it? by calling in Nicolette then driving me to pick her up outside Lilith. She got in the back with me, looking as sharp and intimidating as ever.?Here, I was going to give this to you on Saturday, but now works,? she said, handing me a matte black cylinder with a seam down the length. Another box, then. After her gift of the plugs, the shape of this one suggested it might contain a designer dildo. Would it be shiny and chrome? ?It?s designed to be small enough to fit inside a handbag.?Classy, I thought.It was a clutch purse, I discovered. Actually quite classy. Inside were a pair of house keys, an Apple Watch, a new iPhone, a credit card for Alanna, lube, a small screw top cylinder containing condoms, and finally Alanna?s license.*?Everything a girl needs for a night out whoring, or drinking, except this,? I said. I held up the one oddity in the purse, a curious looking black and red sphere about the size of an eightball.*?Put the watch on and be careful with the ball,? she said. ?It?s like a dye pack from bank robber movies except it paints everything in a twenty foot radius with enough stink to make a skunk barf. I?ll show you how to trigger it later, in the meantime, TSA will arrest you for having Escort sincan it.??Good to know... what?s it good for?? I asked, as I put on the watch.?Protection, actually. But explosive,? she said. ?No one will want to be near you for any reason for about three days after using that. Seriously, if you jumped in a pool of ravenous sharks, they would jump out onto land.??Only one of the girls ever used one. A guy got out of hand so she triggered it. Inside his car. Puked everywhere, still dry heaving when our people arrived. Totalled the fucker?s Ferrari.??Wow,? I said. She didn?t sound sad about the car.?Alanna owns the iPhone,? she pointed, changing the subject. ?It?s already linked to the watch so we can monitor her. Don?t take the watch off when you work. Unless you want Curly storming in and breaking bones. The keys are to Alanna?s apartment.??I have an apartment??*?Alanna does, yes. On paper anyway. She shares it with about fifteen other ?people?. And by share it I mean they host there occasionally. Also, we pick up their mail.??Host?? I didn?t understand.?Sometimes guys want a ?girlfriend experience? but they have wives or girlfriends or whatever. Alanna can go to that address and use those keys for that type of call. We never overbook.?*I nodded my head sagely.?None of that is the reason I gave the clutch to you tonight,? she said. Pointing at the card, she said, ?Wardrobes cost money.?Curly dropped us off on the curb outside Macy?s in Union Square. Alanna (holder of the a credit card and whore to be) and Nicolette (madam wonderful) shopped until the stores closed.We started the women?s designer section in Macy?s, where I looked but didn?t touch. The first price tag shocked me. Woo! Three hundred and seventy-five for a dress? Made of cotton?!?See anything you like?? Nicolette asked.*?Yeah, lots.??So,? Nicolette pursed her lips, showing out the word, ?you gonna try something on???What?s the point? That T-shirt is sixty-five dollars, ten percent off! Maybe we should go to target or something.??Okay, stop,? Nicolette smiled at me genuinely.